This month marks the fifth anniversary of my Mom’s loss of life. The stunning thought has been bouncing round in my head the previous few weeks: I’m so glad my mom is not alive proper now.
As the coronavirus pandemic rages on, I discover myself considering typically about my mom who suffered with Lewy Physique dementia (LBD). If there was any hope for surviving this merciless illness, in fact, I would need she was nonetheless alive. I miss my Mom greater than phrases can say.
The expertise of dropping my mom excruciatingly a bit bit at a time by dementia after which completely by loss of life was a harrowing expertise. She was my greatest buddy, confidante, and largest supporter by life. How does one dwell with out their mom?
And but, it might have been a lot worse.
If my mom was nonetheless alive, she would have panicked over this pandemic, the riots, and information about murderous hornets. She’d be glued to the TV watching each terrifying element.
LBD is a merciless mixture of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s signs that rendered my Mom helpless each bodily and mentally towards the finish of her life. The illness is understood for tormenting its victims with vivid hallucinations, delusions, and evening terrors. Generally my mom was in a whole state of panic as a result of she thought a bear was in the laundry room. I can not think about the paranoid delusions these scary instances would have prompted if she was nonetheless right here.
And God forbid, if she grew to become contaminated with the virus, a definite chance along with her weakened immune system. I can not conceive the terror she would really feel, confused by her dementia, with out family members by her aspect throughout her closing days.
I consider the painful but poignant closing moments with Mom earlier than she died. My coronary heart breaks as I hear about these compelled to be separated from their family members throughout their closing hours. They’re being robbed of the treasured time to share significant tales, emotions, and reminiscences in the days, hours and minutes main as much as the second of loss of life. I’m horrified as I learn and listen to about individuals making an attempt to say goodbye nearly, disadvantaged of these closing intimate moments, holding arms, and hugging their family members.
A couple of week earlier than my Mom died, shockingly, she grew to become extra alert than she had been in months. “This appears like a celebration,” she mentioned after noticing her sister-in-law and an outdated buddy have been visiting. She requested to placed on her favourite pink lipstick and rings and needed a sip of wine. We fortunately granted each want. My mom talked about taking a visit to Maui collectively and we performed Hawaiian music in the background. Later that day, Mom went to sleep feeling content material.
That was the final time we have been capable of have a significant dialog along with her. It was as if Mom briefly got here again to life to say her good-byes. However for that second in time, relations and buddies had a final probability to inform her how a lot we beloved her. Not everybody has the alternative to do this and for that treasured reward, I’m eternally grateful.
The day my Mom died, the hospice nurse warned me that my Mom would possible cross away inside the subsequent two hours. He was proper, however throughout these closing moments, we have been capable of categorical our love for Mom and inform her how a lot she meant to us one final time. We promised that we might all care for one another after she was gone. We have been capable of kiss and hug her throughout our closing moments collectively. Everybody deserves these treasured moments.
To not point out, individuals are being disadvantaged of being with their family members who present consolation after loss of life. The sacred ritual of claiming goodbye with funeral and memorial providers with prayers and phrases of remembrance to honor the beloved one was cruelly taken away.
I additionally take into consideration the caregivers of family members with dementia. The statistics are brutal. One in three seniors die with Alzheimer’s or one other type of dementia whereas 15 million household caregivers care for somebody with the illness. As if caring for a beloved one with dementia wasn’t isolating and aggravating sufficient, I can not even think about what these unsung heroes are going through throughout these instances.
If any of this describes you, my ideas and prayers are with you throughout these heartbreaking instances.
